Posted inHumorousness / On The Web

The Love-Child of IE and Firefox… What If?

Someone did a fabulous job of imagining what the end-result of a Microsoft acquisition of the Mozilla FireFox browser, resulting in the Microsoft Firefox 2007 Professional Edition Website…

Microsoft Firefox 2007 Professional Edition

Better visit the site soon, because I have to wonder how long Microsoft will allow it to stick around. Here are a few choice quotes to illustrate my point…

A robust new Microsoft security architecture known as TakeOver™ helps to protect the Windows Kernel from malicious, damaging and viral software such as Symantec and McAfee products.

And…

At Microsoft, we strive to appear lovable, friendly and helpful…
…because our antitrust ruling conditions force us to do so…

And one more…

Tired of slow image rendering? Microsoft Firefox 2007 can deliver online pornography at blazing fiery speeds. By using a proprietary dynamic algorithm, anything that remotely resembles a tit or a boob will download up to 10 times faster!

Too funny! :-)

UPDATE (11/12/2006): Looks like the site has already been nuked, although www.msfirefox.net still works (sort of).

UPDATE (11/21/2006): And now it’s back…

Posted inGames / Sports

Red Zone Wrap-Up (Week 10)

The Houston Inferno (9-1) returned to their winning ways with a 80-75 victory over the Peoria OrangeCrush (3-7). Somehow the Inferno managed to pull out the win despite having one less player in double-digits than the ‘Crush. I believe this win officially brings the magic number to “0” and puts the Inferno into the playoffs.

The Springfield Bullhawks (7-3) ran up the score 157-83 against the Petersburg PowerPuff Girls (3-7) this week. The ‘Hawks have now won three in a row, but I personally think they are peaking too soon, and will be pummeled in the playoffs. ;-)

The Batavia Bulldogs (4-6) picked this week to discover some offense and handed my Spooky Boogeymen (6-4) a 95-64 defeat. Willie Parker and Donald Driver had huge games for the ‘Dogs.

The Shelbyville Outkasts (5-5) knocked off the P’burg PrariePride (5-5) by a score of 76-45. Eli Manning let down the ‘Pride with a -2 total this week.

The Foreign Bodies (3-7) took advantage of a weak outing by the Kentucky Mad Max (5-5) with a 96-57 win. The difference was Chad Johnson’s 46 points, which the Max left on the bench after a disappointing performance last week.

Posted inOn The Web / Television

Smith: The Rest of the Story

Remember when TV shows were given a chance to find an audience before they were yanked unceremoniously from the schedule? I think of classic shows that might never make it in today’s cut-throat world of broadcast television… Cheers, Seinfeld, and of course Star Trek all received low ratings early in their runs and almost certainly would be cancelled if they premiered and performed the same way now.

CBS featured a show called “Smith” in their fall lineup. It looked very promising with an interesting premise and some notable actors. The show features a group of professional thieves who are starting to have trouble separating their criminal lives from their otherwise relatively normal personal lives. The leader of the group is played by Ray Liotta. He’s looking to end his criminal career after a few more big scores. His wife, played by Virginia Madsen is becoming more and more suspicious of his frequent “work-related” absences. Each episode centered around a different heist.

Although I enjoyed the show and thought that it had lots of potential, “Smith” did not perform well and was the first show of the season to be cancelled after only three episodes.

Anyway, the point of this entry isn’t to whine about CBS’ decision to pull the show. It’s to applaud CBS what they have decided to do for the fans of the series regarding the remainder of the series. From the Smith Website…

Now you can catch all the episodes of this controversial and exciting drama series, including four that never aired on TV. You can also read how the story arc plays out, what happens to all the characters, and how the series concludes, with detailed synopses of the last five episodes.

I’m not happy that the series is over, but at least we get to know a little about what might have happened.

Posted inGames / Sports

Red Zone Wrap-Up (Week 9)

Undefeated no more (finally! ;-))… The Houston Inferno (8-1) lost their first game this week, 67-65 to the P’burg PrairiePride (5-4). The PrairiePride are currently enjoying a three-game win streak. The Inferno could have used Rudi Johnson’s 13 bench points this week. I’ve been telling Jeff (owner of the Inferno) for a while now that Donovan McNabb would break his heart by the end of the season. After a disappointing nine point performance last week, Donovan failed to score any points at all this week. Of course, it might have had something to do with the fact that Philadelphia had a bye this week.

In the “Battle of the Bulls”, the Springfield Bullhawks (6-3) defeated the Batavia Bulldogs (3-6) by a score of 133-97. The ‘Hawks only had three players in double-digits this week. Luckily for them, those players scored 26, 40, and 41 points respectively.

My Spooky Boogeymen (6-3) returned to their winning ways with a 96-85 victory over the Peoria OrangeCrush (3-6). Marvin Harrison and Peyton Manning managed to pretty much cancel each other out, so it was up to the rest of my players to outscore the rest of their players for the win.

The Kentucky Mad Max (5-4) won their third game in a row beating the Petersburg PowerPuff Girls (3-6) with a 84-58 score. The Max had five double-digit scorers this week, so they didn’t need the 52 points left on the bench.

The Shelbyville Outkasts (4-5) defeated the Foreign Bodies (2-7) by a score of 98-81. 35 points from QB Drew Brees lead the way for the Outkasts.

Here are the updated standings after 9 weeks…

NORRIS DIVISION
Houston Inferno (8-1)
Spooky Boogeymen (6-3)
Springfield Bullhawks (6-3)
Shelbyville Outkasts (4-5)
Batavia Bulldogs (3-6)
LONG DIVISION
Kentucky Mad Max (5-4)
P’burg PrairiePride (5-4)
Peoria OrangeCrush (3-6)
Petersburg PowerPuff Girls (3-6)
Foreign Bodies (2-7)

Posted inTechnology

Hacking the Vote

Election Day is every American citizen’s chance to vote their conscience. We can vote to support the distinguished ladies and gentlemen that represent us in the halls of power. Or we can participate in a perfectly legal and binding coup d’etat and vote the bums outta office.

That’s a lot of power at the end of our fingertips, but that’s exactly where that power belongs. The “will of the people” should be the only thing that decides an election, whether it be presidential, congressional, or even student council. Unfortunately, this ideal has become much more difficult to guarantee due to the proliferation of and reliance on electronic voting machines throughout the country.

Let’s think about that for a second… “Electronic Voting Machine” is just a fancy name for a computer. It might be the hi-tech touch screen that directly records your vote, or it might just be the scanner that tabulates your paper ballot. So it has all of the vulnerabilities that any other computer might have… There might be accidental bugs in the software. Or maybe a developer is paid to insert a not-so-accidental piece of code in the program. The hardware may malfunction. Or a piece of equipment, storage medium, or trusted network might be compromised by an outside virus or other malware.

Surely, the government is intimately involved in the development, testing, implementation, distribution, and usage of something so vital that it will determine what’s written in future history books. Right?

Nope. The software and hardware are developed and sold to individual counties by private for-profit companies. Unfortunately, these companies treat everything involved in the process of manufacturing their electronic voting solutions as very closely held trade secrets. These vendors provide a report (produced by another private company) verifying that the electronic voting machines are safe, secure, and accurate. However, there is no involvement by any truly independent entities in this certification process.

Don’t get me wrong… Anyone who’s read this blog knows that I’m a fan of technology. But this is a case of technology applied to a situation without a proper level of common sense and oversight. I hope we can make the appropriate changes before the inevitable happens, and a major election comes under suspicion. Or maybe an entire election will be stolen, and no one will be the wiser.

Here are links to resources covering this topic in much more detail…

Hacking Democracy
A fascinating (and frightening) HBO documentary focusing on the problems and controversy surrounding electronic voting machines (and the vendors who sell them) in the past couple of elections. I didn’t want to embed it here because it’s pretty big (1 hour 21 minutes), but you can follow the link the Google Video. Highly recommended.

How to Steal an Election by Hacking the Vote
An in-depth article from Ars Technica discussing exactly how easy it would be for a determined individual with the right access to steal a statewide election.

Black Box Voting
Black Box Voting is a national nonprofit, nonpartisan elections watchdog group whose mission is to ensure fair and accurate elections through citizen oversight. The founder of this organization is featured prominently in the “Hacking Democracy” documentary previously mentioned.

The Second American Revolution, Part 1
The Second American Revolution, Part 2
These are links to my buddy Jeff’s blog. The current state of American politics has inspired Jeff to write an interesting and well-argued case condemning both the Democratic and Republican political parties as abject failures in what should be their number one priority, representing the interests of their constituents. This isn’t exactly on-topic regarding electronic voting, but I whole-heartedly agree with Jeff on this issue. Read what he has to say and then let him know what you think one way or the other.

Posted inGames / Sports

Red Zone Wrap-Up (Week 8)

The Houston Inferno (8-0) remained unbeaten by knocking off the Foreign Bodies (2-6) by a score of 86-53. Donovan McNabb looked human for a change with only 9 points, but 20 points from Bears Tight End Desmond Clark and 23 points from the Ravens Defense more than made up for it.

The Peoria OrangeCrush (3-5) had another high-scoring week to follow up last week’s 141 point effort. Unfortunately, they ran up against the Springfield Bullhawks (5-3) who had a record-setting week (so far), beating the Crush 153-93. The Head Coach position for the Bullhawks let down the rest of the team being the only player slot not to turn in a double-digit performance.

The Kentucky Mad Max (4-4) had a triple-digit day vs. the Shelbyville Outkasts (3-5). The Mad Max won 102-59 behind a 34 point perfomance from QB Michael Vick.

The Petersburg PowerPuff Girls (3-5) won their third game in four weeks with a 66-50 victory over the Batavia Bulldogs (3-5). The Bulldogs left Tom Brady’s 37 points on the bench in favor of David Carr’s -2 points. WTF?!?

Oh, and the Petersburg PrairiePride (4-4) narrowly defeated my Spooky Boogeymen (5-3) 121-75. Move along. Nothing to see here…

Posted inInspirational

Cartoonist, Heal Thyself

Dilbert BlogI didn’t realize it until I read his blog earlier today, that Scott Adams, the creator of the Dilbert comic strip, lost his voice more than a year ago due to a rare condition called Spasmodic Dysphonia.

Essentially a part of the brain that controls speech just shuts down in some people, usually after you strain your voice during a bout with allergies (in my case) or some other sort of normal laryngitis. It happens to people in my age bracket.

I asked my doctor – a specialist for this condition – how many people have ever gotten better. Answer: zero.

The weirdest part of this phenomenon is that speech is processed in different parts of the brain depending on the context. So people with this problem can often sing but they canÂ’t talk. In my case I could do my normal professional speaking to large crowds but I could barely whisper and grunt off stage. And most people with this condition report they have the most trouble talking on the telephone or when there is background noise. I can speak normally alone, but not around others.

How strange is that? But wait, it gets stranger… Scott noticed just a few days ago that he could speak perfectly in rhyme.

I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe itÂ’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.

My brain remapped.

My speech returned.

Not 100%, but close, like a car starting up on a cold winter night. And so I talked that night. A lot. And all the next day. A few times I felt my voice slipping away, so I repeated the nursery rhyme and tuned it back in. By the following night my voice was almost completely normal.

How cool is that?

I still donÂ’t know if this is permanent. But I do know that for one day I got to speak normally. And this is one of the happiest days of my life.

I highly suggest going to Scott’s blog and reading the whole story for yourself. Scott’s an interesting character in his own right. I hope he’s found his way back to his voice again for good.

Posted inGames / Sports

Red Zone Wrap-Up (Week 7)

Apathy is hard workThis is pretty much how I feel about this week’s fantasy football. (Yes, I lost. How did you guess?)

The Houston Inferno (7-0) continued their winning ways with a 79-62 win over the Shelbyville Outkasts (3-4). Another 30-plus point game from Donovan McNabb lead the way for the red-hot Inferno.

As mentioned above, my Spooky Boogeymen (5-2) lost a close game 82-84 to the Foreign Bodies (2-5). Both teams had a player going in Monday night’s game. Unfortunately, Tiki Barber had a better game for the Bodies than T.O. did for me. I need to start looking around for some trades or shrewd pickups because my Spooky Boogeymen haven’t put a scare into any other teams for quite a while.

The P’burg PrairiePride (3-4) knocked off the Springfield Bullhawks (4-3) in a 112-103 game that wasn’t decided until Monday night. Plaxico Burress’ 17-point performance was the difference in the game, but I gotta say that I’m impressed that the Bullhawks put up a 100+ point game with four Byes and an IR player on their bench.

The Peoria OrangeCrush (3-4) lived up to their name this week and crushed the Petersburg PowerPuff Girls (2-5) by the gaudy score of 141-80. The Crush got a 40 point performance from Peyton Manning as well as 38 points from Hines Ward. That’ll do it.

Finally, the Kentucky Mad Max (3-4) beat the Batavia Bulldogs (3-4) by nine points for a 61-52 win. The Max got steady scoring from each position, although the bench outscored the starters with 67 points.

Here are the updated standings after 7 weeks…

NORRIS DIVISION
Houston Inferno (7-0)
Spooky Boogeymen (5-2)
Springfield Bullhawks (4-3)
Shelbyville Outkasts (3-4)
Batavia Bulldogs (3-4)
LONG DIVISION
P’burg PrairiePride (3-4)
Peoria OrangeCrush (3-4)
Kentucky Mad Max (3-4)
Foreign Bodies (2-5)
Petersburg PowerPuff Girls (2-5)